If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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