Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize