i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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