were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
