I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
