is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
