He is an equal opportunity slut.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
