i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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