It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
