No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
