Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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