Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We are two peas in an std pod
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
