I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
