Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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