I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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