this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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