First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
