She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize