honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
