She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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