Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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