So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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