She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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