So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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