you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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