Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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