I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
