I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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