If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
