they need to just BURY HIM!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i used baking grease as lip gloss
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
