I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
