i jhust puked up my retainher.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
