But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
