remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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