The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
