Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
