A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
