Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
