We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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