Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
