David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
