i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The uberlube is also flammable
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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