this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
