Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
