Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
