You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
high people should be assigned attendants
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
