talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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