she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
