Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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