Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
