Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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