marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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