I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
