nut hugger
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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