Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."

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(313): View more from Michigan

Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct

(973): View more from New Jersey

that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand

(201): View more from New Jersey

she's a dina-saur

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(850): View more from Florida

"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.

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(561): View more from Florida

Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold

(561): View more from Florida

Either that or it dispenses candy

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