I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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