I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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