Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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