girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
