I bet he comes in French.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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