Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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