Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
