so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
