I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
