forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
