I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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