I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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