I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
