Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You dont lie about slip and slides
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
