ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
