eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
