benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
