Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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